I’m a first time mother of a 11-month old girl. She’s very active and alert. However, in the past 2-3 weeks, she has started to throw tantrums. For example, when she tries to stand up in her stroller, I will stop her from doing so as I do not want her to fall. She will cry out and throw her hands up and down in annoyance. She is also very impatient especially when I try to dress her, she will make a fuss, turn over and refuse to keep still.
I want to teach her the right behaviour. She understands simple instructions like wave bye-bye and can also respond to words like ‘bird’, ‘cat’, ‘dog’ by looking out for these animals when we are outside.
How should I discipline her and teach her to be more patient as well as to listen to instructions?
Jamy TN Ling
Dear Jamy,
A 11 month baby is a very active, alert and often impatient person. Her brain is working very quickly and she is always busy, always on the go. She wants to try new things and get frustrated if and when she cannot get things done her way. No doubt she understands very simple instructions but she also has the need to test her boundaries. When she cannot get things her way, she gets frustrated and will throw a tantrum.
When trying to manage her tantrums, we need to see the type of messages weare trying to send her and how will she receive these messages. Certainly long sentences full of words are not of much use on her at this age. However, we can try the following:
- Reduce the incidences of the tantrums. The less opportunity for her to throw a tantrum, the less she gets to practice this method of getting her attention. Place objects or things that you do not think she should have or lay her hands on by removing them from her sight. Out of sight is out of mind for her at this age.
- Distract her if possible. It is still possible to distract a year old baby at this age. If you think she is about to starts her tantrum, distract her from the object of her attention by quickly bringing in another object to interest her and remove the previous object or have a quick change of scene to distract her.
- Ignore her tantrums. If you are unable to avoid a tantrum from occuring, you may need to ignore her crying and screaming. When ignoring her, ensure that she is in a safe environment whereby she is unable to hurt herself. Be prepare for some crying and screaming but avoid paying attention to her crying. The moment she stops crying, you attend to her by going to the activity or what you wanted her to do before she started her crying.
- Do praise her when she has done what you asked of her. When praising, it is necessary to tell her what she has done and how you feel. Pharses like ” Good girl” or ‘ Mummy is so happy that you are such a good girl” lets her know that she has behaved or acted as expected and that you are pleased.
- Good role Model. We all know that children learn by observing. The people and her environment plays a major part in the way she behaves and treats others. Having a good role model will certainly influence her behaviour positively.
Instilling good behaviour is not easy and is one that takes alot of patience.It is both fun and frustrating but the rewards are HUGE! So take your time. HAPPY PARENTING!.
Jennifer
