Kids can be at their worst when you’re least able to handle it. You’re struggling to make a decent home-cooked meal, the phone’s ringing, the kettle’s whistling and suddenly a stubborn little voice screams “No! I won’t!”. Before you know it, you’re angry and said something you shouldn’t have.
It’s only natural to react in such a situation, so what can you do to stay cool and not snap when your kid annoys you? Here are a few examples:
Discipline dilemma
Problem: When you’re in a hurry, you get very angry when your child misbehaves. How can you control your anger?
Solution:
- Calm yourself down by using the 3-step strategy ‘Stop, breathe, chill’. Before you snap, tell yourself “Stop!”.
- Next, take a slow, deep breath to calm yourself down.
- After that, explain to your child that you’re upset and need to cool down. Drink a cup of water and look at the sky for about 20 seconds.
- When you’re calm, go back and explain to your child that you got mad because he refused to listen to you or has done something wrong.
Phone frenzy
Problem: Your child won’t stop asking you for things when you’re on the phone. How can you make him understand that you’re busy?
Solution:
- When your child interrupts, say “Excuse me” to the person you’re talking to (so that you show your child how you’d like him to behave).
- Then explain to your child that you’re talking to someone on the phone and you’ll catch up with him in 5 minutes. Give him a hug – it can help.
- If your child still misbehaves, end the call and attend to him quickly, without yelling.
Hearing
Problem:
It seems the busier you are, the more you have to repeat yourself to get your child to listen. How can you get him to pay attention?
Solution:
- Your child is probably doing this because he knows you’re too distracted to follow up on your requests.
- Let him know that you mean what you say by acting after the first warning that you made. Don’t repeat yourself because he will think that this means he can stall you.
- Make sure however, that your instructions are clear so as to not confuse him of what you want him to do. For example, tell your child to put his toys in the cupboard instead of just telling him to clean his room.
Remember: Whenever your child becomes difficult, explain and tell, don’t yell.
