As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child’s sheet, “Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.” -Megan E. Tuttle
Recently visiting my hometown, I ran into Bev, a classmate I had not seen in years. We updated each other on careers, marriages, children, and found common ground discussing the joys and hardships of being the single parent of a teenager. She admitted the decisions she made and advice she gave as a mother were based on hope and instinct rather than any certainty of what was best. I agreed, but said our parents probably felt the same way — and we hadn’t turned out too badly. “Yeah,” she replied. “But we had real parents. Our kids just have us.” I understood exactly what she meant. -John R. Griffin
When I went into labor, I notified my parents and they rushed to the hospital. They arrived before my husband and were ushered into the room where I was being monitored. The doctor came in and, motioning to Dad, asked, “Is this the husband?” “Oh, no,” Dad blurted out. “I’m the father!” -Theresa Correll
Ahead of me in line at San Francisco’s Pier 41 waiting to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz was a couple with three children. Bored with the delay, the kids were fidgeting and punching one another while their parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally they reached the ticket window. “Five tickets, please,” the father said. “Two round trip, three one way.” -Frances Johnson
I spend my evenings in my studio sculpting busts of kings and queens. I had just put the finishing touches on Nefertiti when my eight-year-old daughter came in. She looked at the unusually large headdress, smiled in recognition and said, “Oh, it’s Marge Simpson!” -Donna Diamond
Teaching my six-year-old daughter the days of the week, I asked her if she had any questions. “Yes,” she replied. “Why is there more week than weekend?” -Carrie Aiello
The rain was drumming down on the tin roof of our camper. After a while, my six-year-old son asked, “Mommy, what’s that noise?” “Rain, dear,” I answered, “on the roof.” “Santa?” he asked incredulously. “In the summer?” -Nadyne Greschner
We had a pesky problem with ants in the house, but I didn’t realize how bad it was until one day when I was in the backyard with my four-year-old son. “Look, Dad,” he said, pointing, “an ant got out of the house!” -Kirk Heisler
My husband and I often took turns at bedtime lying down with our toddler, Stephen, to help him go to sleep. One evening after my husband had been in our son’s room for about half an hour, I was surprised to see Stephen come tiptoeing quietly into the living room. “It’s okay, Mom,” he informed me proudly, “Dad’s asleep now.” -Jennifer Trapnell
I looked out the window to check on my daughter, Jodie, and some neighbourhood children who were playing in the backyard. I noticed them running toward the house and could see Jodie holding one bloodied hand with the other. In a panic, I ran out of the house to meet her. Mistaking my look of concern, Jodie quickly assured me: “Don’t worry, Mom, it’s not paint.” -Patsy Palmer
For months our family had been preoccupied with my search for a job. One day my husband told our three boys that to make things easier for me, he was going to draw up a list of jobs for them. They were silent for a moment before our six-year-old asked, “When are the interviews?” -Brenda Cobb
Our family of five was travelling by car from British Columbia to Ontario. On our third day, we stopped for dinner at a restaurant in Alberta. A man sitting at a neighbouring table asked my five-year-old son where we lived. “We used to live in a house,” he replied, “but now we live in the car.” -Betsy McClure
After we moved to a new community, we decided to send our children to Sunday school for the first time. Our eight-year-old daughter was ecstatic, but our ten-year-old son wasn’t at all happy. After much coaxing, he finally agreed to give it a try. “But,” he informed us darkly, “if there’s even one math question, I’ll quit!” -Terri Perrin
My ten-year-old daughter was reciting the Ten Commandments but became stuck after Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, and Honour thy father and thy mother. After a pause, however, she continued, “Thou shalt not drink and drive.” -Patricia Hunt
My wife was getting ready for her first major business trip. As the time for departure drew nearer, things got quite emotional. Our family huddled together, and Holly told the children that she loved them very much and that she was going to miss them. Then suddenly her eyes filled with tears. Our five-year-old son, clutching his favourite blanket, grew concerned. He looked up at his mother and said, “Would you like to take my blanket with you?” -Marcel J. C. Ulliac
When a birthday card arrived from his grandmother, my six-year-old son held it unopened, staring at his name. “Who’s it from?” he wondered. “Look up in the corner of the envelope,” I suggested. After a moment, he exclaimed, “It’s from the Queen!” -Lorraine Zettler
While I was putting my reluctant five-year-old to bed one evening, he looked up at me and said accusingly, “I know what you and Dad do at night when I’m in bed.” Rather taken aback by this statement, I asked what he meant. “You eat all the good stuff,” he replied. -Laura Best
As an Ontario provincial policeman, I was extremely proud when my three-year-old son stated that he was going to be a policeman when he grew up. “If you’re going to be a policeman,” my wife replied, “you’re going to be an educated policeman.” “No,” he replied emphatically, “I’m going to be a provincial policeman!” -Rainer I. Edward
I realized just how environmentally conscious my seven-year-old daughter was when I tried to explain to her what organ donation was. When I finished, she said: “Oh, I understand. It’s like… recycling!” -Glenna Cairnie
After stopping at the pet store to pick up supplies for Whiskey, their dog, my sister-in-law, Kay, and her young daughter, Sheila, went to the supermarket. At the checkout, Kay couldn’t figure out why she didn’t have enough money to pay for the groceries. “Don’t you remember, Mom?” Sheila reminded her in a loud voice. “You spent all your money on Whiskey.” -Gerry McCallum
“I’m not going to wear this shirt to church!” declared my six-year-old son, Cameron. I insisted he wear it and said he could change when we got home. Cameron then tried to enlist his father’s support. When that failed, Cameron informed me that after church he’d be running away. “Why wait?” I asked. “I’m not going to run away in this shirt!” he exclaimed. -Debbie Innis
