Gender disappointment is fairly common and is nothing to feel ashamed about. There are many reasons to feel disappointed in the gender of your baby. Common reasons for women to feel this way are:
- They feel they’ll be unable to connect to a particular gender
- They have several children of the same gender already
- Pressure from family to fulfil the need for a specific gender
- They were abused as a child
Women find this difficult to talk about because:
- They are worried they will upset those who are having trouble conceiving
- They don’t want to be looked at as being selfish or insensitive because their child is healthy
- They are worried people will think that means that they will not love their child or be a bad mother
No matter what your situation might be, it is okay to experience gender disappointment and it’s important to acknowlege this.
Gender Disappointment and Sexual Abuse
Some mothers who were abused as a child, experience gender disappointment and anxiety as a result of feeling unable to cope with having a boy. Especially if their abuser was a man. On the other hand, they may feel anxious that they wont be able to protect a daughter from a potential abuser.
In the case of disappointment for having a boy, these feelings only last for the duration of the pregnancy, they are usually gone once baby is born and in mum’s arms.
In the case of having a girl, during pregnancy mum-to-be may feel okay, as baby is safely protected inside her. But once baby is born, this is when she may feel anxious that she can no longer protect her child.
