Having a child is a big deal for both you, your partner and everyone around you. It may feel like there’s a lot of pressure on you. Considering the many societal, familial, and personal issues surrounding children, it is no wonder many moms suffer varying degrees of sadness and depression over baby’s sex. For most women the desire to give birth to, specifically, a boy or, specifically, a girl won’t have an impact on the relationship with her child. They simply regret the loss of the dream of the gender they had hoped for and move on.
But for some women that sadness intensifies into an overwhelming feeling of depression and loss. Most women feel guilty to admit this to anyone. If you in any way have a preference to either sex, it may be interpreted as you’re not being a good person, that you are not a good mother.
Actually it’s a very natural thing to be disappointed when you’ve been dreaming of having a girl and then you suddenly have a boy! Or the other way around, of course. It’s a way of your dreams not coming true, no matter how healthy and wonderful your baby is.
Even if a woman has no personal preference for a boy or girl, external pressure to produce one or the other can cause feelings of loss, disappointment, and depression. These ideas can also come from stereotypical depictions of men and women in the media or in certain cultures.
There are some women and their partners who actually experience more than a passing depression over the sex of their baby, they sometimes choose to use techniques, habits or ‘home remedies’ to influence the sex of their next baby.
Common symptoms of gender disappointment are:
- Sadness
- Disappointment
- Concerned about their own reaction upon birth of the baby
- Depressed or in fear of depression
- Anger towards themselves for feeling this way
- Robbed from having the gender they wanted
- Feeling terrible having to ‘pretend’ to be happy all the time
