Nonetheless, a couple who has three girls and wants to try conceiving again would love to have a boy this time. And, vice versa for a couple who has all boys.

There are old wives’ tales, pregnancy kits and even various methods that claim to help couples choose the sex of their baby. Just Google “gender selection” and you’ll find various options.

What is the truth and which of these are just empty promises, lies and outrageous claims?

Obstetrician & gynaecologist and fertility specialist Dr Ng Kok Chong tries to clear the air on the issue.

He begins by asserting that gender selection is indeed unethical.

Dr Ng: ‘We normally don’t encourage it.’
“We normally don’t encourage it but for those who already have three girls or three boys and want a baby of the opposite sex, then we can help advise them,” says Dr Ng.

Couples must firstly understand a few important facts about chromosomes and fertility.

Men have the XY sex chromosome while women have the XX sex chromosome. When the Y chromosome from the man mixes with the X chromosome from the woman, a baby boy is made. And, when the X chromosome from the man mixes with the X chromosome from the woman, a baby girl is made.

The Y chromosome is lighter than the X chromosome. The spermatozoa can carry either an X or a Y chromosome. Because the Y is lighter, the spermatozoa carrying it swims faster than other spermatozoa carrying the X chromosome.

Although lighter and faster, the Y chromosome is not as resistant as the X chromosome and spermatozoa carrying the Y chromosome tends to die faster.

Confused yet?

In simpler terms, there are male and female sperm. The male are faster and lighter than the female but tend to die faster. The female may be slow and heavier but they last longer.

When to have sex

Dr Ng advises those wanting to have a baby boy to have sexual intercourse after the wife ovulates. This is when the male sperm swim quickly to the egg, find it and fertilise it. X + Y = baby boy.

To have a baby girl, try having sex before ovulation. In such a situation, the male sperm may arrive first but they will find no egg and die waiting. By the time the egg emerges, the female sperm would have arrived in time to fertilise it. X + X = baby girl.

“To put it simply, your chances of getting a boy are higher if you have sex after ovulation and if you want a girl, your chances are better if you have sex before ovulation.

“It’s not 100% accurate but your chances are better; possibly about 60% success rate,” explains Dr Ng.

Acidic and alkaline food

Your diet also matters. This is not an old wives’ tale; there is a scientific explanation.

“The male sperm likes an alkaline environment while the female sperm likes an acidic environment. If the woman eats more fruits and vegetables the pH for the vagina is more alkaline. So the chances of getting a boy are higher.

“If you want a boy then the man needs to take more acidic food like meat while the woman needs to take more alkaline food like vegetables and fruits.

“If you want a girl, then the woman needs to eat more meat and the husband needs to take more vegetables. Then the environment of the vagina is more acidic and the chances of getting a girl are higher,” explains Dr Ng.

Again, he reminds couples that the success rate is only about 60%.

Take your position

Another element to help in gender selection is the sex position. Positions that offer deep penetration make it easier for the sperm to get to the egg quickly and, because of that, the chances of getting a boy are higher.

However, if there is shallow penetration, then the sperm need to swim farther and by the time they get to the egg, the male sperm would have died. So, the chances of getting a girl are higher.

Medical methods

There are also medical methods to get a boy or girl but these are only done if the family members are afflicted with serious genetic conditions, such as haemophilia or Down Syndrome.

In such cases, the male and female sperm can be separated during an IUI (intra-uterine insemination) procedure.

“One method is called the swim up method where we put the semen in a test tube with some chemicals. The sperm will swim up the tube and the male sperm swims faster so it will be at the top of the test tube. Then we will remove the sperm at the top of the test tube, wash it and inject it into the wife’s womb. So the chances of getting a boy are higher.

“The IUI method for gender selection can only be done to have boys. You can’t take the sperm from the bottom of the test tube because the sperm there is not as active and the chances of getting pregnant from that are not very high.

“The final method is via PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis). This is done in concert with IVF (in vitro fertilisation) treatment where the woman’s eggs are removed after ovarian stimulation for fertilisation with the man’s sperm outside the body.

“The fertilised eggs are nurtured in an incubator until they go through a process called cell division, which is when they become embryos.

“What we do is that once the embryo reaches the eight cell stage, we remove one cell and do a chromosome study on it.

“The embryos that are healthy and which contain the genetic characteristics that are desired by the couple are then transferred into the woman’s uterus,” says Dr Ng.

According to him the PGD method is almost 99.9% accurate.

These two methods can only be conducted for medical reasons.

Myths

* Having sex more often gives you a girl and less often gives you a boy. – Not true, says Dr Ng.

* Chinese birth gender chart. – Dr Ng says he doesn’t think this is accurate.

* One-year chart of when to have intercourse to get a boy or girl. – Dr Ng says it is highly unlikely that a chart for one year can be accurate. “How can it be accurate when your ovulation dates depend on when you have your period and how long each cycle is? It’s very difficult to be accurate when giving dates for a whole year,” he says.

* The wife douches with sodium bicarbonate and water to get a boy. – Dr Ng says this may not be safe or clean. “Some people believe that douching with sodium bicarbonate to wash their vagina before sex creates a more alkaline environment. They do this if they want to have a baby boy. We don’t advise douching as a means to clean the vagina, so this is definitely not recommended anyway.”

(The Star Online – 4/10/2010)

We feel that every healthy baby is a blessing, whether it’s a boy or a girl!

There are many factors that can influence the accuracy of the ultrasound. They include:

• the gestational age of baby
• the quality of the equipment
• the experience of the person doing the ultrasound
• mother’s weight
• baby’s position

Other methods of sex prediction are more accurate but carry risk to the pregnancy. The most commonly used methods are amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling. This method is about 100% accurate.

Amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling are genetic tests that can be used in the first trimester or early second trimester to find out the sex of your baby. They are more invasive and 100% accurate but they can pose health risks to your baby.

Frequency and Timing of Intercourse:

Shettles recommends that you have sex as early as 24 hours before ovulation to no more than 12 hours past ovulation to increase your chances of conceiving a boy. Having sex too long before ovulation will dramatically decrease your chances of conceiving a boy and increase the chances of having a girl.

Other things to consider are to make love when there’s a quartermoon in the sky and always have sex at night. Boys are conceived on odd days of the month.

Sexual Position:

Shettles suggests deep penetration from your partner, preferably with the “doggy style” position.

Others say you should lie down after sex. And stay down for a while. You can also try making love standing up. Consistent with what we have said before: if the man is the one to initiate you’ll get a boy.

Also, when you fall asleep be sure to be on the left side of your partner.

Sex and Orgasms:

Shettles suggests that orgasms during sex are a good thing if you want to have a boy. Though others disagree and say to always focus on his pleasure. If the male partner orgasms first, you’ll probably have a boy. Don’t be too relaxed, if you’re a bit worried when you’re conceiving you’ll have a boy.

Eating habits:

Eat red meat and go for salty snacks such as pretzels and potato chips. Your partner should drink lots of soda, especially cola. Also have your partner drink a coffee right before sex.

Consideration for the dad:

Research suggests that it’s important for the man to avoid wearing tight underwear if you want to conceive in the first place. However, some believe that ‘warmer testicles’ increase the chances of having a boy.

Frequency and Timing of Intercourse:

Shettles says in order to increase the chances of having a girl, you should have sex everyday from the end of your period up to 2 1/2 to 3 days before ovulation. Having unprotected sex closer to ovulation will dramatically decrease your chances of conceiving a girl.

Other tips are to make love in the afternoon and preferably on the even days of the month.

Sexual Position:

Shettles suggests shallow penetration, that way the sperm will be deposited closer to the entrance to the vagina. That area is more acidic and will work against the weaker ‘boy’ sperm.

Try the missionary position or make love with the woman on top and, remember that if the woman initiates sex, you’ll get a girl.

Sex and Orgasms:

Shettles recommends that you don’t orgasm during sex. But some people feel that if the woman reaches orgasm before her partner, you’ll have a girl. According to some stories, being relaxed when you conceive could probably mean you’ll have a girl. So, having an orgasm doesn’t sound so bad at all.

Eating habits:

You should both eat lots of fish and vegetables and the woman should give in to her chocolate craving, or just eat sweets in general.

Consideration for the dad: Some say a man’s testicles should be cool before you have sex if you want a daughter, so don’t wear any tight underwear or visit a sauna or steam room.

There are families who have such strong sex preferences that they choose to do sex selection. Using techniques like MicroSort, preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Shettles and other methods of sex selection, anyone can attempt to influence nature. Some of these techniques are not entirely risk free, though Shettles method is harmless. Between 75 and 90% effectiveness is claimed, but experts don’t agree that it works.

It is understood that sperm cells that result in a boy are faster but more fragile than those that result in a girl. The Shettles method tries to influence the timing of the sperm arriving at the egg. The Ericsson method is based on the same belief, but there the sperm is deposited outside the woman and time is given for the swimmers to separate before artificial insemination takes place.

There are lots of people out there telling you non-medical ways to influence the sex of your baby. Let us give you the easy, safe and nice ways to influence the sex of your baby… or not.