Many new fathers think that it’s a mother’s place to nurture a newborn. Or they are not confident handling their babies and feel like they can’t bond with them.

There is no reason for new fathers to feel left out, though. They play an important role in their babies’ lives, starting from those early days at home. Dads can be involved in all aspects of baby’s day-to-day care, from feedings to diaper changes to doctor appointments.

The bonding process starts in infancy, but gets stronger over time.

Feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start? Here are some tips for connecting with your new baby:

• Take off time from work. Try to spend as much time at home as you can after the baby’s birth. Those first days are an emotional time for everyone. Your partner will appreciate your support, as well as help with taking the baby for a checkup or other tasks.
• Be there for feedings. Giving baby a bottle is one way to feel involved. If mom is breast-feeding, dads can still hold baby while mom gets comfortable before a feeding and talk to the baby in a soothing voice during nursing. Dads can burp the baby afterwards, too.
• Entertain and engage. While mothers tend to soothe and comfort babies, dads can balance this by giving them excitement and stimulation. Babies love when their fathers sing, talk, and read to them.
• Make diaper time quality time. Babies will have dozens of diaper changes each day in those first few weeks. Use them as a chance to touch, snuggle, and talk to your little one.
• Give baby a bath. It might be nerve-wracking at first, but bath time is a wonderful chance to get close to your baby. You could make this special time a regular part of baby’s bedtime routine.
• Use a sling or baby carrier. Many moms and dads find that wearing their newborns in a sling or other carrier helps them feel close and connected. You can “wear baby” while you work at a computer, take care of things around the house, or just go for a walk.

Moms may make dads feel insecure if they constantly hover and correct how things are done. Remind your partner that you just do things your own “daddy” way. That’s part of the beauty of having two parents to share the job of caring for a newborn. Each parent has his or her own style, which helps forge a unique bond with the baby.

(Source: MyOptumHealth, July 2011)

1. Remember that babies aren’t really breakable. Don’t be afraid to hold yours! Ask someone who is around to show you some great holds for little ones whether it be a midwife, doctor, nurse, confinement lady, mom, relative, friend, etc.
2. If you are feeling left out talk to your wife about it. Chances are it’s not on purpose.
3. New moms often have emotional ups and downs that are not predictable. Be supportive and offer an ear when possible. Learn the warning signs of postpartum depression and seek help if the situation is heading out of control.
4. Support her with breastfeeding. Tell her that you’re proud of her and protect her from well meaning but negative comments about breastfeeding. Take a breastfeeding class during the prenatal period if possible.
5. Help with the other children or household. Remind mom to let the house go and to focus on her recovery and the new baby.
6. New dads can also experience the blues or postpartum depression. Much in your life has changed and its important to realize this and get help if you need it as well.
7. Remember that the only thing you can’t do is breastfeed. You can change diapers, soothe a crying baby, carry the baby, bath the baby, play with the baby, anything the baby needs done – you can do it also .
8. If you need help ask for it. Know who to call in your area for help and support whether it be a doctor or midwife, a confinement lady, lactation consultant, or the local babysitter.
9. Mom is going to need extra sleep and care while her body recovers. Get up with the baby when you can. Bring the baby to her in the middle of the night if possible. If you must go back to work check in with her during the day. Perhaps surprise her with some healthy take out food or fresh flowers.
10. Remember that adding a new baby to the mix is always going to stir your life up a bit, even if it’s not your first baby. Learning to live with another human being takes time. Give yourself a break if you need it as well.

You will become the expert on your own baby. The most nervous dads are afraid to hold a baby. Do you also feel this way? If someone else baby is put in your arm, do you hold it very stiffly? Don’t worry within five minutes, you will start to relax and find out what a great experience it is to hold a baby and when you hold yours in arm – you will see what a incredible experience parenthood can be.

Be patient and positive.

When it comes to your partner, communication and support are the keys. The most important thing in the early weeks is being patient and taking care of mom.

Remember that your wife has been through the physical trauma of childbirth and her whole life has been turned upside down by the arrival of the new baby.

Help your wife to change the diapers, comfort the baby, put him to sleep – trust your instincts, and in two days, you’ll feel like a natural and your wife will love you more for your help.

Meanwhile, even if you’ve had a hard day at work, it probably sounds like a vacation to her. So do be patient and supportive. Call your wife in the afternoon, when she may be feeling as if the day will never end, and let her know you appreciate what she’s doing.

Chances are you and your family will be spending a bit of time in it daily as you ferry back and forth from home to daycare/babysitter’s house or to grandma’s house and shopping. If you’re planning on taking local holidays, you will be spending even more time in your car. As such, there are a few things you will need to consider for your family’s safety and comfort.

Here are some things that we suggest you consider when buying your family car:

1. What size?

Having a snazzy and cute little hatchback was a nice idea when you were single or when there was just you and your spouse. But you will have to give it up once you start having kids because there won’t be enough space if your car is small.

When the word “family” pops up, think B-I-G.

Will the car you want have enough space for everyone? Are you planning on having two or three children? Do your parents or in-laws stay with you? Do you have a helper? Count everyone and be honest because you don’t want to buy a Honda City for your family of three and then realise you forgot to count your in-laws and the helper.

Remember that children need to be seated in child car seats. If you are planning on having three then your car needs to be able to seat your spouse and the three car seats … or, you will need two cars. An option is to explore better family planning so that one child is a bit bigger and can sit on the booster seat while the other two are in their car seats. Still, you will need one seat belt for each so make sure you have enough for everybody!

2. Boot space

Once you have kids, factor in carrying the stroller in the car boot. If you have more than one small child, that’ll be a double stroller. If you live in an apartment don’t forget you’ll need to store your shopping trolley in there, too. And, if you’re planning on road trips for the next five to 10 years, you’ll need to store your luggage in there, too!

Don’t be surprised if you start eyeing those big MPVs (multi purpose vehicles).

3. Safety features

This is the most important aspect of your car-buying mission. What sort of safety features does the car offer? How many airbags and where (more on this later). Is there an ABS (Anti Lock Braking System) or anti-skid system? How about a child safety lock?

Make sure the car you buy has enough safety features for your family. This is one element that should never be compromised.

4. Airbags

While airbags are great and most people think more airbags are even better, exactly where are the airbags? Find out because the type of child car seat you have or intend to buy can depend on where the airbags are. You don’t want your child in a forward facing car seat if the airbag is going to impact her and wedge her between it and the seat. This can crush your baby!

If you need to, take all your child car seats with you when you’re going for a test drive and make the sales agent install all of them and then explain where the airbags will be and how safe your child will be then. Don’t be embarrassed to ask. They want that sale and so they will do it, no matter how long it takes.

5. Weaknesses

Make sure you do a web search on the car before you buy it. Find out the problem areas that users complain about. There is usually at least one or two weaknesses. If the car you want is cute but has a tendency to overheat … reconsider buying it because you don’t want to be caught on a Saturday afternoon in a traffic jam in Kuala Lumpur with your three children screaming in the car and find your car has overheated and stalled.

6. Service centre

This is not a priority but still could be a factor in the long run. The car is great … but where is the service centre? As parents, you don’t really have the time to drive 20km from your home to go to a service centre that is so far from your home. Also ask other users what the customer service at the service centre is like.

7. Seat material

If you’re getting a car with cloth seat covers, go for a darker colour. The children will spill food and drinks. Your car seats will be stained. There is no way you can train them not to. This is inevitable. Just accept it and get seats with darker covers.

Otherwise opt for leather seats – any spills are easy to clean by just wiping.

8. In-car entertainment

This is entirely up to you. Some parents prefer to have it as it keeps the children occupied for the duration of long trips. Some say it’s okay as long as it’s not above or near the driver. And some just don’t like it. This one is up to you, as long as it’s not too distracting for the driver. Take note of how hidden or exposed the unit is as it would attract thieves. Also take note of whether your children will be able to reach the unit and fiddle with it – higher chance of them breaking off parts or spoiling the unit, etc.

Conclusion

When you decide to go shopping for a car, take the family along. There are things that your small child might notice that you might not. The car might be too high for him to climb into or the back area might be too small.

Talk to other parents, too. Nothing so helpful as the experiences of others who have gone down this path and have tried or are using the car you’re eyeing.

(Source: The Star Online, 18th April 2011)

While men seem to have an innate ability to be supportive partners, the modern-day dad can use a number of practical and effective tips:

1. Join your wife during doctor’s appointment. Over the next nine months or so, your pregnant partner will have a number of appointments with her doctor to check on the baby’s health. Join her! From listening to your baby’s heartbeat, to seeing the ultrasound you will be able to connect more deeply to your child and your wife.
2. Be informed. Buy or borrow a book or two about pregnancy and labour – and read them. Go to birth and breast-feeding preparation classes. Take notes and discuss questions or concerns with the doctor and mom-to-be.
3. Get involved. Don’t forget the fun and exciting parts. Create a list of possible names for your child. Go to the baby supply store and help pick out the things you’ll need for your newborn. Your wife will appreciate it and you will feel great.
4. Pamper your wife. Pregnancy can be gruelling. Make sure you are doing the vast majority of chores around the house – and still be ready to rub her feet after you’re done. You pitching in helps her stay not only physically healthy, but mentally and emotionally healthy too.
5. Go on a short holiday together. Having a newborn in your life changes it radically. Your life, and for quite a while your free time, will really never be the same again. Before your pregnant wife gets too far along in her pregnancy, try to take a short vacation where the two of you can bond as a couple.
6. Plan ahead. Create a birth plan with your wife. And be her advocate when it comes time to put that plan into action. Figure out where she wants to have the baby and whether she wants to use pain medication so you will be ready to assist her when the time comes.
7. Take time off for the day’s after your wife delivered the baby. Many employers give new fathers a few days of paternity leave. This time is important for you to get used to the new situation and you can get to know your baby and at the same time support your wife during this big change. You should be also aware that hormone levels can change a lot in new moms, leading to issues like depression.
8. Most likely, your wife’s pregnancy and labour will go well. But it’s wise to be prepared if things don’t go according to plan. Miscarriage is always a possibility, and it’s good to learn beforehand that a man and woman will typically feel and show the resulting grief in different ways. Be there for her and let her know that you grieve too, even though you may show it differently.

Bringing a baby into the world is a lot of work, but it yields some of the deepest and most intense experiences life has to offer. So follow the suggestions above, and when you hear that child first utter the word “daddy,” you’ll know you deserved it.