She automatically double-knot everything she ties.
You find her humming the Barney song as she’s doing house chores.
She hears a baby cry in the supermarket and she starts to gently rock back and forth, even when your baby is at home!
She actually starts to smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
She cries through every scene in [...]
DUMB WAITER: a waiter who asks if the kids would like to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him or her.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
HEARSAY: [...]
As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child’s sheet, “Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.” -Megan E. [...]
An outstation doctor went to a kampung to deliver a baby.
It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old son. The doctor instructed the boy to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped [...]
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins and shortly before they were due she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business and unable to be reached. While in coma she gave birth and the only person around to name her children was her brother.
When the mother [...]
For weeks a 6 year old kept telling his teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. This 6 year old boy was clearly impressed, but didn’t say anything. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about [...]
Raising kids is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that gray hairs don’t hurt.
One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day someone in a gym class [...]
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit; the wife pregnant with their first baby.After everything was checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s tummy with permanent ink.
The couple got curious and wondered what the stamp was for. So, when they got home, the husband got his [...]
“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
“Yep, I used to skip school too…a lot.”
“Just leave all the lights on…it makes the house look more cosy.”
“Let me smell that shirt…yep, it’s still good for another week.”
“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be happy to feed and walk him [...]
A man speaks frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!!”
“Is this her first child?”, the doctor asks.
“No, you idiot!”, the man shouts in the phone,”This is her husband!!”
